The Wildest Stories from Kingdom Come 2: Delivering Mayhem and Laughter

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Odyssey Through Bohemia's Absurdities

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece brimming with unexpected twists and turns. The following recounts some of the most ludicrous side quests encountered during my Bohemian adventures. These tales are spoiler-free for the main storyline, focusing solely on the game's unpredictable charm.

Table of Contents

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

The quaint town of Želejov, with its bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, houses two indolent troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their ambition, however, far outstrips their resources – they lack funds, an instrument, and a coherent artistic vision.

Image: ensigame.com

Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, embarks on a series of increasingly bizarre tasks to aid them. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks to settle their tavern debt. Their reward for Henry's Herculean efforts? A soul-crushingly dull song celebrating his mundane exploits. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I laugh uncontrollably.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Remember those lute strings? They require crafting by the inebriated hunter, Vojtěch, who, after a drunken encounter with wolves, found himself clinging to a tree. The intended rescue involves carrying him back to camp, saving his horse, and aiding his sobriety. However, I chose a different path.

Image: ensigame.com

I delivered Vojtěch directly to the tavern. His gratitude? None. He berated my "help," leaving me with a memorable encounter and a rather underwhelming view from his shack as compensation.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

Image: ensigame.com

The Polovtsians, responsible for Henry's family's demise, were found causing trouble in a tavern. My initial rage quickly dissipated as I found myself socializing, matchmaking, and even drunkenly singing with them. Then, a talking dog intervened, launching a philosophical discourse and challenging me to a lake swim (the "Don't Drown!" quest). The ensuing hilarity was unforgettable.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

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After mastering stealth, a single botched heist transformed me into Bohemia's most wanted. My flashy accessories and lingering scent gave me away, not the theft itself. The game's attention to detail is astonishing.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

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A stolen horse, a sleeping gypsy horse trader, and a runaway steed later, I learned a valuable lesson: even minor escapades in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 become epic misadventures.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Image: ensigame.com

These are just glimpses into the game's unique charm. Every decision, however small, creates unexpected consequences, resulting in a uniquely hilarious and immersive experience. For open-world RPG enthusiasts, this is a must-play. Bohemia awaits!